Can We Get Off It?

I voted for Hillary. Yes, I did. I really thought that she would be the most formidable candidate to go up against McCain.

I can't seem to get off it. I know I need to move on and support Obama, but I am just not ready yet. I feel really dragged out after 16 months of campaigning, and I don't even watch television news.

When I heard Hillary's final speech as a potential nominee on Saturday, I cried. As far as we have a nation have come regarding women in leadership positions, we as a society can't see a woman president. I am amazed that I got to see a woman go after the nomination for the Presidency. I was pretty certain that would never happen. Still, I felt really sad that even a woman with experience and strength couldn't get out from under the way the press depicted her. If Hillary can't break the glass ceiling, who can?

I remember growing up with my father who did not believe that women could compete with men. Period. He thought my sports and activities were a nice way for me to pass time, but could not compare to those of my brothers. Boys sports were worth committing the entire family to long weekends at hockey arenas or ball fields. Girls sports were a waste of a sunny Saturday when he could have been on his boat. No matter how accomplished I would become, it wouldn't compare to what the boys were doing. It seemed so unfair. It still does. Back then, it made me want to achieve and show them that girls' pursuits did matter. With this line of thinking, I put so much pressure on myself that I would under perform.

This is an old hurt of mine which has been brought to my attention in the last month as my kid begins extracurricular activities. I have been spending time sitting with these feelings of disappointment instead of getting angry and feeding into the wanting to "prove them wrong" or change or control how they think about me, girls and women.

Personal feelings aside, I feel really sad that she didn't get the nomination. I felt she was a leader who could stay focused despite all of the muck that would be flung at her. I felt that she would stand strong in her national agenda without waffling. I felt that she had the wisdom of years of experience that would guide her in dealing with nations around the world in a fair and firm way.

I just don't get that from Obama.

My hope is that Obama will be able to assemble a team of the best advisors, as well as a kick-butt running mate.

I am going to pray for an open mind and a new experience with Obama. I am going to pray for the willingness to see him as the next President of the United States. Maybe I will need to watch TV news to hear some of his speeches.

My hope is that the Obama supporters whose candidate will get the nomination will bear in mind that Hillary supporters are going to need convincing. I hope that they will see that bad-mouthing Hillary will not make me or folks like me get behind Obama, just the opposite in fact. Even after Hillary said she was withdrawing from the contest, these people are still speaking ill of her. Enough. They need to get off it too.