I rode my bike about 32 miles this weekend without pain. Discomfort, yes. Chronic debilitating pain, no! I prayed for a miracle, for the best possible outcome regarding riding a bike. I also asked that I be mindful of my seat so I could make adjustments as I rode.
I have suffered from chronic pelvic pain for several years. My lower back would ache and slide out of alignment constantly. One wrong move picking up baby toys, and I was on the couch for three weeks. My vulva burned with all of the symptoms of a yeast infection, but without the actual infection. I could barely sit. My bladder ached. I thought I had a bladder infection, but no infection. I was in pain, and, worse, I thought I was crazy.
The pain effected every area of my life, but, especially, my marriage. I really wasn't able to participate in the aspects of marriage that are just between the two of us. One of those things was bike riding, my husband's favorite passtime. When we were dating, he bought me a bike because he wanted to share his favorite thing to do with his sweetheart.
Having lived in Center City Philadelphia for years, where drivers flatten bikers for sport, and they end up on the 6:00 p.m. news, I gave up riding a bike. When I tried it again, I found I really enjoyed it. I didn't have to be in the best shape to feel the sun and the wind on my face. I had to remind myself to keep my lips closed while smiling because the gnats were smashing into my teeth.
I liked that I had a bike that was mine, and I rode on the trails surrounding Minneapolis by myself a lot. I even rode in the Minnesota State MS150, a bike tour raising funds to help those suffering from Multiple Sclerosis. I didn't ride 150 miles, I rode a manageable 40 miles. On the last leg of the ride I crossed the finish line where hundreds of people, including many in wheelchairs holding thank you signs, cheered. It was really exhilirating.
Then the pain began. I had bascially given up ever riding a bike again. We debated selling my bike and helmet in the garage sale last fall, but I couldn't do it.
Over the last year, changes have occurred in seemingly unrelated areas of my life and health. For example, for at least twenty years, I didn't sleep through the night due to sleep apnea. As I began to sleep through the night, the pain improved. I also worked closely with physical therapists to stretch and strengthen my core abdominal muscles so that the pelvic floor wouldn't have to do all the work. I started walking, 15 minutes, three times per week, last year. I eventually was able to join a gym and begin weight training.
I addressed my nutrition, and, with the help of a dietician, learned how to eat snacks so that my blood sugar stayed stable so that my body didn't have to go into spasm in a perceived threat of starvation. I also began a very helpful protocol for supplements that really gave me energy that I needed to get through the day.
There were other treatments and many difficult setbacks given the level of system failure going on with my body. I was very discouraged a lot of the time. In fact, I still have setbacks, but today I can accept what is happening so it is not that bad. This attitude allowed me the freedom to try. I knew that if I did have a setback, I could recover.
My husband and I hadn't celebrated our wedding anniversary for six years. It was time. We chose Lanesboro, a charming little town in Southern Minnesota. They have gorgeous bike trails that follow the Root River and wind through rolling hills and farmland.
In addition to prayer, I got a new seat on my bike with a big hole cut in the middle, and "ape hanger" handle bars that allow me ride sitting up straight. I practiced at night on the flat streets of my neighborhood, which accounts for my lack of blogging in the last few weeks.
I came prepared with three ice packs, two small, one large enough to cover my entire lower back. I also squeezed my big blue exercise ball in the backseat of our sedan so I could bounce and relieve pressure to the perineum. I brought a large therapeutic wedge so I could lie inverted in a supported bridge pose to further relieve pressure.
I packed herbal pain medicine as well some ibruprophen.
Mostly, I focused on the possibility of a miracle, that this bike ride could only work with divine intervention. I had done all of the getting ready to give the bike ride a good college try. Even though I was nervous, I felt peaceful. The kind of peace that I feel when I am stepping out on faith.
I received a miracle. I got to enjoy a glorious summer day with my husband, sharing in his favorite passtime. I'm sure he could tell that I was still nervous. My mind was really on "think" mode. I chattered about all sorts of things for the first 11 miles. Then I got more comfortable and too tired to talk so I just focused on my exhale like I do in my mindfulness practice. Turns out, I didn't need all of my backup pain plans. The only discomfort I had was the same as everyone who is a rookie bike rider: my sit bones were tender. In total, I only used one ice pack. I stretched, bounced on my ball and swallowed a couple of herbal pain pills.
I have never had a more peaceful and completely fun weekend with my husband. This experience isn't a guarantee that I will never have pain again. What I do have is success that I can put in my back pocket. I can use all of the tools that worked this time; hopefully, I'll have similar results. I'm just going to wait a couple days until my sit bones are less tender.
I am amazed. Before I started meditating, I used to only learn from the pain of my mistakes. Today, I get to learn from the joy of my successes as well. I never had it so good.
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