Emptiness. I am sitting with it. Since I am wishing that I knew what was on the other side of the emptiness, I am obviously not sitting with it entirely well. The hardest part is that I've decided it's kind of boring. It's the absence of drama, of anything really. I am just not that familiar with this feeling. It doesn't feel like depression. I still want to participate with life, and do what needs to be done.
I have never really tried to describe this feeling, I suppose because I think it is boring. When I was working as a writer, when we weren't currently assigned to a project, we called it, "on the beach." I would usually be so exhausted that I couldn't enjoy the beach. Today, I'm not so tired anymore. I feel peaceful. I like my peace with some edges of joy or happiness.
My chest feels relaxed. My body feels warm and rested. My head is clear. I am breathing.
It's lightening here; I think I'll go do window.
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