I Was Wrong About Play Dates

Last week, I walked into the preschool room to pick up the kid. Kiddo greeted me at the door and asked me, "Please, Momma, can my friend come over today? What time can my friend come today?"

"Sure," I said, "let's ask. Where's your friend?"

We walked over to the friend and friend's mother. I introduced myself and asked if they would like to come over and play. "Being an only child," I explained, "the kiddo gets kind of lonely. We really would love to have you come to our house or we could go to the pool at the park in our neighborhood."

The mother looked stunned for a moment and said, "No one has ever asked my child for a play date." She seemed surprised since no one had ever asked them to play. Her kiddo has special needs.

At their preschool all the classes have a blend of children with typical needs as well as those with special needs. All the children do their thing, learning to work with what's happening. They interact and treat each other with kindness and respect. They are happy.

I wanted that for kiddo. We look different, but we're all the same. I want my child to see the person, what we share as beings, instead of his or her disability or whatever seems to separate us.

I looked at her and thought, I know how it feels not to be included. I also know how it feels to think you are going to be left out and then you get an invitation anyway. It's tender, the feeling of the heart opening, just as it is about to close.

"Oh, well, we have swings or we have a sandbox and pool in the backyard. What does your child like to do?"

Meanwhile, the kiddo was bouncing up and down my leg and saying, "Today, Mommy, can my friend come today? Today Mommy?"

They had plans on that day, but we agreed to speak later and work out the details.

Our new friends left. The teachers stared at my kid with big moist eyes, smiled and told me that the kiddo had approached the mom before I got there and told her, "[Your kid] really likes me, can you come play at my house today?" They told me that the mom just kept saying no one ever asked her before.

I squeezed my kiddo, my child of the light, and cried on the way home. God put this strong desire on the heart of a 4 year old and the love touched open our hearts.

We are all children of the light. We transmit grace and our hearts are healed.

I was wrong about play dates. I thought they were for the kids. Turns out, they are for the parents.