My whole philosophy about boredom is that if you feel bored, you must be boring. Most of the time, I can think of tons of stuff to do. I consider rest an appropriate action as well.
I also thought that boring was the opposite of stimulated. Again, there is much in my world that I find interesting. My preferred type of stimulation is usually mental, emotional or spiritual. Conversations about emotions or spiritual things when there is a sense of shared adventure rate highest, but I also love books, TV and movies. Most recently, I discovered the miniseries, John Adams. I also find the AMC channel's Mad Men compelling. In both cases, the characters are complicated with flaws and ego demands. I can relate. It's fascinating to watch my inner experience outside of myself.
Stuff that has obvious meaning is most interesting to me. Activities such as weeding and housework mostly have little meaning for me; thus, I don't like doing them. I am still praying to experience the meaning in these things.
I have fought the idea that mothering and homemaking is boring because thinking of my jobs in those terms seems unbearable. Why would I spend my day doing something that in the end is just boring?
Yes, I know that raising a healthy, functional grown-up who is spiritually aware is important, but I find it hard to maintain this attitude in moments say, when the kid calls out, "Mommy, wipe my bottom, please." The larger intention gets muddied.
In my search for meaning in my relatively new job, I started this blog. Writing about the adventure of being a mindful mother who is seeking unconditional serenity helps keep my focus on what it means to be of service in this job. When I start to think that I work for the kid, I can return to the truth that my true boss is a loving God. God thought I was up for the job so I was hired.
A few nights ago, we joined some friends for dinner. I realized, this stuff is boring, truly mundane. It's not them, it's the stuff. So, now I have to admit that yes, I feel bored; therefore, I must be boring. I really don't find typical discussions of helpful hints for child rearing interesting. I mean, I could get those answers from a number of sources at the library or the internet.
I want to know, how does it feel to be a mom? What is it like for you at 3:00 a.m. when the kid wakes up? How do you know when you need to take a break? How do you take care of yourself? How do you show up as an example for your family? How do you nurture your marriage in the middle of all the to do's?
My favorite part of the entire dinner conversation had to do with sex toys. I have some knowledge of the such things. Quality is essential. The cheap ones are made with the same unregulated, toxic plastic that they make fake worm fishing lures. Those worms turn into a ball of melted chemicals after a while and so do the cheap sex toys. We don't want that poison in any environment.
When the topic of sex came up, I perked up. Sex is interesting and important. Staying satisfied as a human being at all levels is crucial for this mom. This topic feels a little edgier than the merits of stainless steel v. plastic water containers.
The rest of the conversation was pretty forgettable. The saving grace was that we were together. Somehow, the boring stuff is workable when it is shared. Working in the yard, cleaning the house, tending to that which needs care is best shared. When I feel I have to do it all myself, want to run screaming.
Finding a way to do these chores with love may be the answer. When I start to feel like this maxed out Swamp Mother, I have lost perspective. I need a break.
The kid's grandparents are taking her to the zoo on Thursday. God bless grandparents and anyone who is willing to love my kid enough to give me a chance to catch my breath and gain some perspective. I bet the same old will seem a lot less boring.
I have a feeling I just getting started on working with boredom.
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