Discouraged

Today I felt discouraged. When I sat with it, the discouraging feelings came straight from my heart, heavy and warm. Oh, that's what discouraged feels like. I am learning a lot about what different emotions feel like in my body, since I am not distracting myself with busyness.

What was kind of cool is that I wasn't trying to make it go away or figure it out. I just noticed that when I felt discouraged and I cried, my exhale was long and hot.

So, the next time I feel my heart heavy and my exhale long and hot, I'll think: oh, this. Yes.

One day last spring I was receiving a massage. I felt this wave feelings pass over me. I thought, oh, this is sadness. I wasn't trying not to feel. It was more like savoring. Oh yes, this is sadness. I have felt this before. Be with it.

After I felt discouraged, I remembered that I often feel discouraged right before something inside shifts. Maybe discouraged is an element of surrender. I hope so.

It's time for a change of mind.