Tender Moment

A mindful moment happened at my kid's preschool. I joined the class on the floor where they were singing along with a tape to Lou, Lou, Skip to My Lou, Miss Mary Mack and the Lady with the Alligator Purse. I grabbed my kiddo and held her like a baby, rocked her back and forth and sang along with the tunes. One of the friends looked over at me and said, "Will you rock me?" This 4 year old child lost her mother a few months ago. I was told she got sick and died.

After my kid's turn, I cradled her in my arms, rocked and sang to her. I kissed her on the forehead.

I thought about my own experience being a child who lost a parent. Although my own father was gone, I see now that I received "fathering" from other people just when it was needed. It wasn't the same, but I wasn't entirely abandoned either.

As I rocked this little girl, I thanked God that for the length of a children's song, I got to be the one offering some mothering to a motherless child. I got to be there for this child in the same way that other's had done for me. I felt a rush of tenderness that comes when I feel a fraction of the extent of God's love and mercy for me and for us all. We are loved and cared for.

She smiled and said, "Mama, Mama," but not to me. She said it with her face out to the universe.

The song ended, and the rocking line had formed. Today I had six little girls in my arms who seemed quite delighted and one who appeared quite relieved. I know the feeling. Getting "parented" even though your parent has died is a bit like a cool sip of water when you've gotten so thirsty for so long that you forget that you ever were in need of drink. It's a relief, but it hurts going down at first. Most of my "other father's" kindnesses have brought me to tears.

She sat in my lap along with my kid during story time. I told her it was time for us to go. I thanked her for letting me hold her. She slid off of my lap. Then she said, "Can I come to your house?"

"Anytime you like," I said.

Later, I felt myself slipping into the drama of pity for her, second-guessing God's plan. How could God let 4 year old be separated from her mother? Isn't it awful? Then I realized that she asked me to rock her. If she knew today that she could ask for mothering and receive it, she can do it again and again as needed. She is going to be just fine. God bless her and all of her "other mothers" who are standing by.