Yesterday's epic battle of good v. evil has mellowed. I realize that I have a habit of treating these thoughts like a cancer that must be eradicated or else my life as I know it will fall apart. Maybe it does not have to be this high drama. Could I notice and attend to the situation without reacting in fear? I really don't know.
In theory, if I am present in the moment, then I will be able to relax into these darker thoughts. Maybe even find them funny.
This notion is completely counter to my entire life experience. I have been reacting and making things a big deal for at least three decades. I have been in a war with my own shadow, basically beating it down when it appears. I am tired.
What would it be like to treat these thoughts with friendliness instead of fear. Could I survive without taking myself so seriously?
I'd like to try it, but now is not a good time for me to be light and fun. I am spending the evening with my husband.
Okay, now I'm ready.
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