My father taught us many of our life lessons on the ball field. He showed us how to be team players by cheering and encouraging all the players on his team, even the ones who weren't natural athletes. He insisted that you run out onto the playing field and then you run back to the dugout so that we would know how to show pride for our team. We avoided anything he called "bush league" behavior such as throwing the bat or talking smack about the other team. Anybody who behaved in a "bush league" manner was benched. We learned how to mess up a play, shake it off, and start fresh with the next batter. We learned to be gracious winners and losers.
Growing up in a family of gifted athletes, I have watched thousands of hours of televised sports, especially the Olympics. Every time an athlete from the U.S. competed, my father would put our flag out, even in our sub-zero temperatures. In 1980, we screamed "U. S. A." while watching the young Olympic hockey team. After every game he would say, "You see that, you see that! Never, ever give up." When they finally won the gold medal, my father pulled our flag off of the side of the house, stood on the porch and proudly waved it around until his feet got cold.
Those athletes and their coaches were our heroes. They were from the U.S.A. They were the best. And, since they were the best, we were. I understood why my father stood out in the cold and waved our flag. We were the U.S.A. The best.
Every 4 years, the champions inspire us. These men and women set aside most of their lives to achieve greatness. I wanted to be them. Just watching them set their eyes on the prize, do the work and get there made me want to be better in school, sports, dance, all of it.
When I was in high school, I went the volleyball camp. One of the coaches had just competed in the Olympics. She didn't talk much about it, but we all knew: she was a champion.
In the last few days, I have heard rumors of athletes griping that they were competing against gymnasts that were too young and that's why they didn't win gold. I also heard someone allude to the fact that the Chinese officials were messing with the schedule so that the U.S. athletes were caught off guard and, therefore, didn't medal.
I know there is more whining, I just can't listen.
Champions do not complain. They go out and get the job done. It would be a beautiful thing if the playing field were always equal and fair. Get real. By the time they get to the Olympics, athletes need to have a plan for the these moments of poor sportsmanship or just plain evil. Everybody wants to win. When you are the best, you rise above it all.
A true champion is all action and no talk - with the possible exception of saying how blessed she feels to be able to represent the U.S.A.
More than most sporting events, Olympic athletes have honor. They represent us. They sacrifice everything for the privilege. When they start whining and crying about the laces on their skates being broken, I lose respect. It's bush league.
Everybody wants to win. We love to count our medals and feel superior. A champion leaves it all on the court or on the field or in the gym or in the pool. Whatever the results, what happened was the past. A champion accepts what is and moves on keeping the focus on what's important - what can be made of this moment.
When I was a kid, these people were my gurus. They were the perfect combination of grace and effort. If we could apply a bit of what bring to their sport, we'd see greatness too. They represented the best of who could be.
No more excuses. We need champions, not whiners.
August 14, 2008
August 13, 2008
Open Letter to the Media
This blog is an open response to the barrage of comments that I heard upon returning from vacation.
Dear Media Personalities,
Please stop speaking of John Edwards' marriage and infidelity.
You have consistently made the point that he and his wife misrepresented themselves in public and, therefore, lied to us. I disagree with this assessment. Most of us present the best of who we believe ourselves to be. The Edwards' are just like the rest of us. We are basically good people who make mistakes (regularly) and are doing our best to find ways to work with them and make amends. All of us deal with our shortcomings in private first. We cannot share perspective until we have had the opportunity and time to achieve understanding of our part in the situation. The Edwards' have not been allowed the time to sort through this family crisis.
Further, in every marital situation, both parties have a role. Perhaps the person who has not cheated has a very small part in the situation, say 10% responsibility. Maybe he or she was distracted and didn't tend to the marriage. Even if the distraction was righteous, without full acknowledgment of that 10%, there will be no moving forward for him or her. He or she will remain a victim. Both parties must attend to the marriage and their part in creating and maintaining it as healthy.
The Edwards' have suffered from life circumstances of grief and disappointment that would overwhelm any mortal. Coping with these losses is an ongoing process for individuals, and we don't ever do it perfectly. Thus, we don't come together to support each other perfectly. In trying times, we have a hard time asking for what we need and then providing our partners what they need due to our own confusion and pain.
Finally, you seem to indicate that the fact that the mistress became pregnant makes Mr. Edwards mistake worse. From a moral standpoint, I disagree. Was it wrong to participate in an extra marital affair? Of course. Is it worse because the mistress became pregnant? Again, morally, I don't think so. While it is true that an additional mistake was made by not using adequate birth control, Senator Edwards was not alone in this mistake either. Ultimately, what will be challenging for the Edwards' is that they will have an ongoing reminder of this mistake. They will have to find a loving way to treat this child and each other as they move forward.
Please move on. I find it painful to listen to your criticism of the Edwards'. Your reaction seems very extreme, perhaps indicating that your strong feelings have more to do with your pain. As an Edwards supporter, I feel sad. I always feel sad when a marriage is threatened because I believe in marriage. I feel sad that we get into situations where the pain is so great that we make mistakes. My own marriage was put to the test due to illness and grief that led to mistrust. While there was no affair, my husband and I have had to go to great lengths together to set things on a loving path. I am madly in love with my husband today, but I can also see how easy it would be for folks to make mistakes similar to the Edwards'. We all have to continue to learn new ways of being kind and loving with each other.
I would gladly vote for Mr. Edwards if he can demonstrate thoughtful attention to the situation. I believe he and his wife are as capable of self-searching as anyone. I want a person of humility in leadership position because I admire the strength it takes to overcome ones own humanity. It inspires me. Also, a person with humility will have enough self-honesty and perspective to be effective when making decisions because this person has enough compassion to understand how his choices deeply affect others. If John Edwards is the leader that I believe him to be, he will rise to this situation and transform it. We will all benefit.
Dear Media Personalities,
Please stop speaking of John Edwards' marriage and infidelity.
You have consistently made the point that he and his wife misrepresented themselves in public and, therefore, lied to us. I disagree with this assessment. Most of us present the best of who we believe ourselves to be. The Edwards' are just like the rest of us. We are basically good people who make mistakes (regularly) and are doing our best to find ways to work with them and make amends. All of us deal with our shortcomings in private first. We cannot share perspective until we have had the opportunity and time to achieve understanding of our part in the situation. The Edwards' have not been allowed the time to sort through this family crisis.
Further, in every marital situation, both parties have a role. Perhaps the person who has not cheated has a very small part in the situation, say 10% responsibility. Maybe he or she was distracted and didn't tend to the marriage. Even if the distraction was righteous, without full acknowledgment of that 10%, there will be no moving forward for him or her. He or she will remain a victim. Both parties must attend to the marriage and their part in creating and maintaining it as healthy.
The Edwards' have suffered from life circumstances of grief and disappointment that would overwhelm any mortal. Coping with these losses is an ongoing process for individuals, and we don't ever do it perfectly. Thus, we don't come together to support each other perfectly. In trying times, we have a hard time asking for what we need and then providing our partners what they need due to our own confusion and pain.
Finally, you seem to indicate that the fact that the mistress became pregnant makes Mr. Edwards mistake worse. From a moral standpoint, I disagree. Was it wrong to participate in an extra marital affair? Of course. Is it worse because the mistress became pregnant? Again, morally, I don't think so. While it is true that an additional mistake was made by not using adequate birth control, Senator Edwards was not alone in this mistake either. Ultimately, what will be challenging for the Edwards' is that they will have an ongoing reminder of this mistake. They will have to find a loving way to treat this child and each other as they move forward.
Please move on. I find it painful to listen to your criticism of the Edwards'. Your reaction seems very extreme, perhaps indicating that your strong feelings have more to do with your pain. As an Edwards supporter, I feel sad. I always feel sad when a marriage is threatened because I believe in marriage. I feel sad that we get into situations where the pain is so great that we make mistakes. My own marriage was put to the test due to illness and grief that led to mistrust. While there was no affair, my husband and I have had to go to great lengths together to set things on a loving path. I am madly in love with my husband today, but I can also see how easy it would be for folks to make mistakes similar to the Edwards'. We all have to continue to learn new ways of being kind and loving with each other.
I would gladly vote for Mr. Edwards if he can demonstrate thoughtful attention to the situation. I believe he and his wife are as capable of self-searching as anyone. I want a person of humility in leadership position because I admire the strength it takes to overcome ones own humanity. It inspires me. Also, a person with humility will have enough self-honesty and perspective to be effective when making decisions because this person has enough compassion to understand how his choices deeply affect others. If John Edwards is the leader that I believe him to be, he will rise to this situation and transform it. We will all benefit.
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